I think I have SADS. I think that this country's stoopid winters make me blue and I hate it. I'm so blue right now..:-( Why? I am writing my dissertation. I LOVE my topic. No, you don't get it I absolutely ADORE my topic. For me its interesting, its exciting and its just, wow. Everything I thought I wanted out of uni. Why should that make me sad? I can't find a single soul out there who cares about this stuff as much as I do. Or at least the way that I do. Its frustrating for me because its only enhancing the feeling of isolation that I already have. I'm frustrated by this sense of aloneness and I am frustrated by how I'm feeling about the people around me. I wish I had friends who had opinions. That sounds like a really horrid and mean thing to say but its how I feel. I don't want people to back down at everything I say, I don't want people to accept my views just because I feel strongly about them. I would like to be challenged so that I can challenge myself and be compelled to dig deeper into my chosen subject. Arrgh!! Why are English people so dumb? I'll tell you why. Its all that Alchohol. Its fried up their brain cells and now theres only one solitary neurone working hard against all odds to sustain all normal funcitons as well as some semblance of humanity.

And I'm starting to freak about my finals. I just want to do well soo soo badly but...I'm worried that I won't be able to do it. I need 3 firsts in 3 modules to secure that first. one in IPe one in War Torn States and Post Conflict Reconstruction in the South and an ace dissertation should do it. But man..Both those modules have exams and really, REALLy substantial papers to write. Its like I'm writing four dissertations.

My AIESEC life is in tatters. I'm so frustrated with AIESEC UK. REALLY REALLY frustrated. They are suffering from a massive single neurone condition and its just...arrgh!! And now they've roped me into doing a job that no one else wants to do. Juuust fantastic. Juuust fantastic.

I have no friends, my family is far away. My hair looks awful, my skin is being destroyed by this central heating, I hate one of my lectures and ah.

But I guess I still have You, Jesus. And that makes it all seem...doable.