Hey ho neighbours

I'm so sorry about the hiatus. Its been manic. My life fell apart, came back together, ripped at the seams, was stitched back in place and is now existing in a state of peril. Living is exhausting. Its like constant constant exercise. Except its not exercise and the worst thing is that you continue to eat and eat in a world that tells you to constantly watch your weight.

Where to begin...

I'm finished with my second year. So that's one step closer. After a particularly intense year, I rather unceremoniously quit my job. But it doesn't feel like a burden. It feels like a great big sigh of relief. Don't you worry about me, I always land on my feet. Well more like I get by with a little help from my friends (read mom). I'm now galavanting across the seas and countries trying to rustle up some hard earned cash for this years placement.

Which brings me to the next point...

I've had a peek into my potential future and I'm not sure I like what I see. You know how I've always been committed to being myself. Not to blow my own trumpet, but I'm a confident, intelligent, strong woman (toot toot). Its not all me - I rely greatly on my faith to get me through. But I've always been committed to being myself and living my life true to the values that I believe in - be yourself.

Well being myself isn't getting me far in some aspects of my life. I can't help but wonder what good success is if you have no one to share it with? What good is it doing the things you want to do if there's no one to stand by you and say, well done? See I see this woman I'm staying with temporarily and I think, wow. Great home. Great Car. Exciting job. She does whatever she wants whenever she wants to. But she comes home at the end of the day to a dog. I don't like dogs. Or cats. The only animals I can stand are rabbits and snakes (the irony is not lost on me).

So I look at her and I think what stands between me ending up like that? A couple of years. Just a couple of years. One or two right or wrong choices and I'm putting out water for my rabbit or cat and cosying up in bed to watch tele till I get tired and knock off.

I don't want to end up like that. Unto each his own but I don't want that to be me. I'd like to have someone to share my life with. But why should I even hope? I'm twenty two years old and I can't even get a guy to look twice in my direction - unless I have something ridiculous in my hair, or they're looking at my mismatched clothes. :-)

Er...