I have good news and I have alright news...

The good news is I paid off my credit card with one month to spare! :-) Wooohooo!! I am officially debt free!! Everybody do my dance...(insert dancing here...) The 65 hour work week is finally paying off. And I finished all my assignments on time so far and did them okay so yeah! Give yourself a hi 5 on my behalf! (i.e Clap, its a new thing I'm trying and I hope it will catch on)

The alright news... my mom says just keep going and we will worry about money when the time comes. The fact is I may not be able to afford my last year, but then again, what can you do right? The best I can do is keep on keeping on and hope for the best. I'm trying to find a publisher for my book - last year I was the youngest writer to be shortlisted for the Macmillan African Writers prize www.writeforafrica.com - although I'm actively contemplating raising the money to publish it myself and sell the first few copies and then use that money to get some more copies etc. The only problem is as an international student I am not allowed to register as self employed and this is clearly self employment. Unless I get someone else to do it for me although this entails splitting the earnings. Je ne sais pas...

The french is going, slowly but surely, je parlerai francais comme les francaises.

So I've given it all to the Lord. His will will be done and that's all I can hope or aspire to at the moment. I feel no fear right now, just an odd sense of calm and control. And they said being emotionally dysfunctional was a bad thing...

Happy Jamuhuri day to all the kenyans, celebrating our nationhood. We have two independence day celebrations in Kenya, Madaraka Day (June 1st) is the real independence day (June 1st 1963) but on december 12th (1964)we celebrate the day our country became a republic, or gained the right to self determination from the Brits - a "Jamuhuri". Go tell all your friends that you've learnt something new... ;-)

Hey all

As of this moment there are no updates to give. I'm still looking for a job to do next year to try and save up some money. I spent a great part of thursday shuffling from office to office at my university but no deal. So eventually I "checked myself in" to the counselling centre for a little weeping sesh which kinda just helped me release the tension. I'm trying to be all prosaic (have I used that word in its correct context?) about it - all stoic and stuff. Right now the only thing keeping me going is a predisposition in my family towards emotional dysfunctionality - I have lost touch with all my emotions and just sort of try to get through the day.

At the end of the day I'm doing all I can. If I take a year out of uni i won't be allowed to remain in England anyway so I guess it will give me a chance to travel. And other people have dropped out of uni and come back right? Its a shame I'm not pretty - I could have gotten married and raised me some babies but no one wants me... :-)

We'll just have to wait and see...