I have just had the most intensely amazing night of my life. Okay maybe not the most but definitely up there with the top three! I attended a Jazz concert at the local symphony hall on a whim and it turned out to be one of the smartest things I have ever done. WOW!

Firstly the symphony hall at Birmingham is one of the most awesome buildings I have ever ever seen. It’s so beautiful! And the acoustics! You could hear a pin drop in the back row of the orchestra from the cheap seats where I was sitting. The cheap seats themselves were a blessing because when we arrived the place was sold out and they weren't expecting any returns. Then someone suggested we check at the customer service desk and lo and behold, there they were AND FOR ONLY 5 POUNDS!!!

The concert (ALL RISE) was amazing, so beautifully written and arranged. It was an amazing mix of classical music, traditional jazz, blues and Negro spirituals. I was in a concert hall and I literally had to stop myself from standing up and shouting "Alleluia!" or "Play it, brotha!" in fact, one or two times I actually did!

The really intense part was afterwards though. I really wanted to go backstage but my friend was a little reluctant to begin with. I won her over eventually and we went around asking the attendants how exactly we would get backstage. And while were asking, this critic guy comes over and says, "I'm headed that way, come with me!"

WHOA! I'm thinking, this can’t be happening. We went right past the great man's dressing room to the staircase that he would have to go past and stood there, shaking the hands of these awesome musicians. So he comes down the stairs and he turns out to be one of the loveliest people ever. I mean he's letting me go on and on, ranting and raving all the while just smiling at this crazy chick that treats jazz musicians the way her peers treat pop stars.

I had a fabulous night. And to think that this week had started out so terribly. This time on Monday, if someone had offered me a camel and told me to find my way back to Nairobi, I would have gone in a heartbeat. Now, I can’t think of anywhere I would rather be. It just goes to show you that things need time and space. You never know what the outcome might be.

A great night!

Ever since I arrived in the UK I've had to fill in mounds of forms. From the opticians office, the supermarket, the uni, job applications- i mean really mounds and mounds of forms. All different but for one question that is always asked in the same politically correct manner: Ethnic Origin? This questions always bothers me, and wherever possible I try to ignore it. Its like for the first time in my life, the color of my skin actually matters. ( I guess that's why to the (two) followers of my blog it seems like I am totally fixated on the race issue).

Does it matter? I mean really. If you are planning to offer me a job would I be more likely to get it if I was black, yellow or white? And if so, isn't that just a reverse form of racism? In the words of Shakespeare; would not a rose by any other name smell as sweet? In this case would a form of discrimination in any other form be just as unjust? They say they do it to maintain some form of racial equality, but if so wouldn't that come from completely ignoring the color of people's skin until after you've hired them, or at least until the interview stage?

There is actually a society in my university that white students are not allowed to join. When they approached me during Freshers recruitment I was stunned that a university that wears its "multiculturalism" on their sleeves would even allow such a thing to exist. I mean if it was the other way round wouldn't it have gone all the way to CNN?

My country is considered developing but I think if there is one thing that we have developed right it is this issue. I mean, no one asks and as a result no one cares. I have had friends and classmates who are black, brown, white, mixed race of all "blends" and I never really noticed until I got here. Because to me they were never really a color or a religion but a collection of individuals, and I know for a fact they felt exactly the same way.

I guess because we are all worried about things like food security for all and poverty reduction, we can't afford to waste time on issues of race.

For those who are wondering what brought on this sudden burst, I Yahoo, and every morning when I switch on my computer, a screen pops up directing me to the top news headlines. Well this morning I had plenty of time before my first class and I decided to follow a link to a discussion on the FEMA director's Congressional hearing, and I was stunned by the blatantly racist comments there. Nothing at all to do with the story, just bursts of anti-black and anti-semitic stuff.

My thoughts on the issue are simple. We are not the same, but we are equal. We should not pretend that our differences do not exist for the sake of maintaining a faux peace. Instead, like we do in my country, let's celebrate our differences and foster a deeper understanding and respect for each other. There are some really ignorant people in this world. Try not to be one of them.

I was feeling a little down yesterday and this is one of the many messages I recieved from my friends that helped make me feel better. Some little light hearted enquiries and one at the end that I am genuinely curious about.

(Special greeting to the Prarie Prankster- thank you for your support with the Blog!)

Deep Questions :

Why do we press harder on a remote control when we
know the batteries are flat?

Why do banks charge a fee on "insufficient funds" when
they know there is not enough?

Why does someone believe you when you say there are
four billion stars, but check when you say the paint
is wet?

Why doesn't glue stick to the bottle?

Why do they use sterilised needles for death by lethal
injection?

Why doesn't Tarzan have a beard?

Why does Superman stop bullets with his chest, but
ducks when you throw a gun at him?

Why do Kamikaze pilots wear helmets?

Whose idea was it to put an "S" in the word "lisp"?

What is the speed of darkness?

Are there specially reserved parking spaces for
non-disabled people at The Special Olympics?

If you send someone 'Styrofoam', how do you pack it?

If the temperature is zero outside today and it's
going to be twice as cold tomorrow, how cold will it
be?

If people evolved from apes, why are there still apes?

If it's true that we are here to help others, what are
the others doing here?

Do married people live longer than single ones or does
it only seem longer?

If someone with a split personality threatens to
commit suicide, is it a hostage situation?

Can you cry under water?

What level of importance must a person have, before
they are considered assassinated instead of just
murdered?

If money doesn't grow on trees then why do banks have
branches?

Why does a round pizza come in a square box?

How is it that we put man on the moon before we
figured out it would be a good idea to put wheels on
bigger suitcases?

Why is it that people say they "slept like a baby" when babies wake up, like, every two hours?

If a deaf person has to go to court, is it still
called a hearing?

Why do people pay to go up tall buildings and then put
money in binoculars to look at things on the ground?

Why do doctors, when they ask you to strip, leave the
room or close the cubicle curtain while you change?
..... They’re still going to see you naked anyway

Why do we carry our suits in garment bags and our garments in suitcases?

If an open door is ajar, is an open jar a door?

Why is it that in intimate scenes in movies, the covers always go up to the woman's chest but only up to the man's waist? Are they special L shaped covers?

Why is it that in horror movies the tiny blonde girl outlives the tall sports guy or the tough girl?

How does Teflon stick to the pans?

And my contribution;

Why does striped toothpaste always come out striped no matter how you press the tube?

Have a Laugh today!

( I welcome comments; don't be shy!)

Today I had a minor breakdown and shed a few tears. I don't know, I guess the stress of uprooting myself across two and a half continents (the Middle East is the half, for those who are wondering) is finally beginning to take its toll on my nerves. That and I seem to have landed five of the worlds wealthiest college students as my roommates. But one thing at a time.

I begin with the waterworks. I am tired. Not physically, just emotionally. Coping with uni is hard - they don't tell you that part when they are encouraging you to sign up for stuff. I just don't get what it is that everyone else knows that I am not privy to. Its like somewhere out there lies this massive secret "How to..." book that everyone else has but I never got a copy of. I feel like the Seventh Friend, because they are all so happy and well adjusted ( and have great hair and skin to boot) whereas I seem to always be struggling with something or stressing over something (like milk and salt- see earlier post) ( and covered with spots!). Am I missing something? Is there something I don't know that everyone else does?

Anyway, I had a pretty good cry over all of it today. I guess I really never knew how much it was getting to me until someone asked me how I was. (I mean really asked me like they might actually care about the answer). I was talking and all of a sudden I get this feeling, like I've swallowed a massive potato (that's the slang for the feeling in Nairobi - nilikuwa na kiwaru- I swallowed a potato) and it wouldn't go down my throat, no matter how I tried. Eventually I just cried and surely enough I felt better afterwards.

I guess another thing that's really getting to me is the way it seems that the things I really want are just enough within my grasp to make me want them desperately but just enough out of my grasp that I have no real hope of getting them. I have almost no money, yet I want to take up a new language and join a sports club or a society. To make it worse, it seems like all my roommates have enough cash for pizzas and new clothes and all that while I have to cut down to two meals a day. Is this what being an adult is all about - wanting things and never getting them? To always be in pursuit of the legendary carrot on a stick and never really grab hold of it? If so then I might have to rethink this whole growing up thing. :-(

The person who I was talking to says that perhaps I will feel better once I have made some real friends. And I guess that's true, because it seems like the entire weight of the world is on your shoulders when you have no one (really) to share them with.

I never pass up an opportunity to learn something and I think I will share what my trials have taught me with you. One, as I go out into the big bad adult world (sob sob) I urge you all to ask people how the are and really care about the answers. You never know what might be lurking underneath and just how big a blessing you might be to them. Two, money sucks. Three, always make time to cry. It helps. Four, a real friend is a real treasure- value them and allow yourself to be valued as such. Fourth and finally, floss. Really.

Much love.

I am not Black, I am African. There is a difference and only recently have I discovered what a big one it is. Being Black is about the color of you skin. Its about the legacy of slavery and everything that goes with it. It is about campaigning about...many things, some of which I am not particularly aware of. Being African on the other hand is about a state of mind, about an awareness of issues. For me the fundamental difference is that the Blacks are in pursuit of an ideal and the Africans are grounded in the real.

Blacks dont seem to know much about Africa,and they do not seem to be eager to learn. All they know is that where they live, the black man is supressed and oppressed and need to fight for his emancipation. The African knows the reality of supression, he has lived with it all his life and he knows that a party in a park will do nothing to change that. The Black man sees mountains and tries to move them, The African finds ways around them.

I am not black I am African.

I am not a spectacle. You cannot throw money at me and expect me to dance. I am not here to be ogled or paraded or to fit some misconception you might have. I am. If it is enough for you then I expect that it must be enough for me.

I am not Black I am African.

Blacks are defined by the color of their skin. Africans are defined by the contents of their heart. I have met several white africans but not enough black Africans. The spirit of Openess, of Joy and of Brotherhood; that is African is so rare here...so so rare...

To be sure there are many things that are wrong with Africa. If you lived there you must know. But there are many things that are right as well. Let us not forget our past, but not lose sight of our future either. Let us not hurry to forget who we are and embrace things just for the sake of fitting in. I should know, I've already seen it happening and I've only been here a week.

I am African. May I never forget.

(Comments? Post them on my bulletin board or send me a message! I love to hear from People!!)